12 degrees
a hum
a sun

moktak (목탁)

108 times
the fish calls out

underwater

painted boats
again and again and again

impossibility

go to those houses that have not seen death
collect from each a seed
that loved ones may live again

bat house
hawk hunting
black rib of river

Varela's intrinsic activity

Wm James' stream of consciousness

buddhism

phenomenology

buddhism's subtle consciousness beyond the me

"luminous - to reveal or disclose"

"knowing - to perceive or apprehend" 

does it have a physical basis?

an   o p e n   question

...self is....an experiential process that is subject to change.

evan thompson - waking dreaming being 2105

Upanishads sixth, seventh B.C.E. "first recorded map of consciousness -waking, dreaming,  deep and dreamless sleep

4th later - pure awareness

we wounded animals
forget anger no salve
but sources more wounds

love made me target
now
to turn away
without attachment

(second anniversary nears) grief reading

is exploratory
seldom an excavation

i think of insect
in nectar sit and flit
and beetled swagger
that veers tangent

breathless compilation of borrowed books
swallowed whole
unsavored,  no wine-dark coziness

the wisdom of renunciation

grief repairing -

how to witness the read continuance?

the interrupted self
awakening from a dream

"engaging imaginatively as nearly unendurable"

the claustrophobia

of...

the flood the flood the flood

h e r e

pause

cannot

resume

but you do, you do

moon waxing gibbous
one degree without wind

a b o v e  -  b e l o w  z e r o

remembering dr. king

you said use soul force
mightier than
anger or salt

vindication

woman who
works hard at
is intelligent
kind
grows
designs a life

has a temper

and snores

you



this blinding light

that now

in deep winter

reaches noon.

r i v e   3°

47° 51.959N  123° 52.221W  62 feet above sea level

a red rock on mossy log

one inch of silence u s a

falling off

dropping


down

sun under cold

moon wing, a waxing crescent

one degree

moments of panic
as if out of the ark
and into water.

where I swim to -

here

near this  river

mahjong solitaire

In Mahjong Solitaire, 144 tiles in traditional configurations (for example, the turtle) are deconstructed. Patience is key, and resolute quickness which, if faltering, nearly always results in loss. There are no algorithms. One is guessed into winning, not without risk of the unsolvable.* The goal is simple. Remove characters (4 of each) -  letters, bamboos, circles, dragons -  through winds (1 of each), seasons and flowers.

The game challenges distraction, frustration, confusion. Wins often numb and perplex, are seldom repeated as patterns scramble for unreadable novelty.

The tiles wash over you like a wave, flaunting their intricacy. Each game placidly preys on your belief in pattern, order, sense.

Dhamma says one may apply oneself to the unreadable, the inapplicable, the false. One may envy the success of wrong action.

But what is one to do with the inscrutability of right-mindedness, the hamstrung puzzlement of sincere failure?





*A sample of 10,000,000 games with the default layout, 'the turtle' (see right), which were analyzed in about 40 hours on a single processor thread, revealed that between 2.95 and 2.96 percent of the turtles cannot be solved even if peeking is allowed (http://www.math.ru.nl/~debondt/mjsolver.html)

solitude's echo


listening

moon waning crescent
white
cold

river
lake
thin ice skins

looking back without suffering

engaging without regret

does not end

does not end

e l s e w h e r e

minus 7

how can I step out of this world
and into another?

waning crescent

19 degrees
minus 7

cold into bone and camera

walking at night

household goads

there are rules for
brooms and fishing poles
drinking and bathing
crossing rooms and altering stairs

there are rules for
table manners and children
dress codes, baking
retiring cars and debt

place one word
two

rule  rhythm

or

wash, cook, clean.

to be
one road
any road
a footstep
a ghost brush

to disappear
into
and
out of

one horizon

the shadow outside

is it you?

remembering to

m i l w a u k e e    r i v e r

3rd year of Mahjong

Each day for two years

removing 144 pieces in solitude.

Entered 2016

on the 3rd

at five o'clock in the morning

without it.