Santa is a bad-ass warrior,
riding around
this troubled world
without a gun.
Yeah, he's loaded,
all right,
breaks into homes,
to give, not take.
Still, surely shooting him
is a property right.
He could be cited for
violating ordinances,
late night loudness,
reindeer shit on roofs,
littering lawns with lost bows
and god-knows-what.
All night long,
and heading home at dawn,
I'm sure he speeds,
needs to at least be cautioned.
But who wants to confront a
magical old man in red and white?
That fight's lopsided, in his favor.
He's a flight risk, for sure.
That herd of deer he's trained?
They fly,
would definitely rescue the guy
from any cell, no matter how secure.
So yeah, I guess
we'll just
wait for him to go
back to the Pole,
the old troublemaker.
riding around
this troubled world
without a gun.
Yeah, he's loaded,
all right,
breaks into homes,
to give, not take.
Still, surely shooting him
is a property right.
He could be cited for
violating ordinances,
late night loudness,
reindeer shit on roofs,
littering lawns with lost bows
and god-knows-what.
All night long,
and heading home at dawn,
I'm sure he speeds,
needs to at least be cautioned.
But who wants to confront a
magical old man in red and white?
That fight's lopsided, in his favor.
He's a flight risk, for sure.
That herd of deer he's trained?
They fly,
would definitely rescue the guy
from any cell, no matter how secure.
So yeah, I guess
we'll just
wait for him to go
back to the Pole,
the old troublemaker.
