Sunday, January 24, 2016

painted boats
again and again and again

impossibility

go to those houses that have not seen death
collect from each a seed
that loved ones may live again

Saturday, January 23, 2016

bat house
hawk hunting
black rib of river


Varela's intrinsic activity
Wm James' stream of consciousness
buddhism
phenomenology

buddhism's subtle consciousness beyond the me

"luminous - to reveal or disclose"

"knowing - to perceive or apprehend" 

does it have a physical basis?

an   o p e n   question


...self is....an experiential process that is subject to change.
evan thompson - waking dreaming being 2105

Upanishads sixth, seventh B.C.E. "first recorded map of consciousness -waking, dreaming,  deep and dreamless sleep
4th later - pure awareness






Friday, January 22, 2016



we wounded animals
forget anger no salve
but sources more wounds

love made me target
now
to turn away
without attachment


(second anniversary nears) grief reading

is exploratory
seldom an excavation

i think of insect
in nectar sit and flit
and beetled swagger
that veers tangent

breathless compilation of borrowed books
swallowed whole
unsavored,  no wine-dark coziness




Wednesday, January 20, 2016

the interrupted self
awakening from a dream

"engaging imaginatively as nearly unendurable"

the claustrophobia

of...

the flood the flood the flood
h e r e

Saturday, January 16, 2016

vindication

woman who
works hard at
is intelligent
kind
grows
designs a life

has a temper

and snores

Friday, January 15, 2016


you



this blinding light

that now

in deep winter

reaches noon.

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Saturday, January 9, 2016

moments of panic
as if out of the ark
and into water.

where I swim to -

here

near this  river


Thursday, January 7, 2016

mahjong solitaire

In Mahjong Solitaire, 144 tiles in traditional configurations (for example, the turtle) are deconstructed. Patience is key, and resolute quickness which, if faltering, nearly always results in loss. There are no algorithms. One is guessed into winning, not without risk of the unsolvable.* The goal is simple. Remove characters (4 of each) -  letters, bamboos, circles, dragons -  through winds (1 of each), seasons and flowers.

The game challenges distraction, frustration, confusion. Wins often numb and perplex, are seldom repeated as patterns scramble for unreadable novelty.

The tiles wash over you like a wave, flaunting their intricacy. Each game placidly preys on your belief in pattern, order, sense.

Dhamma says one may apply oneself to the unreadable, the inapplicable, the false. One may envy the success of wrong action.

But what is one to do with the inscrutability of right-mindedness, the hamstrung puzzlement of sincere failure?





*A sample of 10,000,000 games with the default layout, 'the turtle' (see right), which were analyzed in about 40 hours on a single processor thread, revealed that between 2.95 and 2.96 percent of the turtles cannot be solved even if peeking is allowed (http://www.math.ru.nl/~debondt/mjsolver.html)




solitude's echo


listening
moon waning crescent
white
cold

river
lake
thin ice skins
looking back without suffering
engaging without regret

does not end
does not end

Sunday, January 3, 2016

household goads

there are rules for
brooms and fishing poles
drinking and bathing
crossing rooms and altering stairs

there are rules for
table manners and children
dress codes, baking
retiring cars and debt

place one word
two

rule  rhythm

or

wash, cook, clean.

to be
one road
any road
a footstep
a ghost brush

to disappear
into
and
out of

one horizon

the shadow outside

is it you?

remembering to

m i l w a u k e e    r i v e r

3rd year of Mahjong



Each day for two years

removing 144 pieces in solitude.

Entered 2016

on the 3rd

at five o'clock in the morning

without it.