if

if
i examine  my practice
i like small thing-ness
copper leafed boxes of wood and water
flint cast-offs and toy castaways
in what my parents called good materials
plant cloth, metal, and glass,
fine dried wood, stone and earth

i like retrieving
memories
that are not memories
but present states
which is
i think
my job

if
i have eyes
i examine them
clean up
sweep the floors of my house
so i can see in all directions

i like small soul gestures
a mudra, a syllable of god -
the repetition of a kyrie
or  faded midrash
a bead
masbaha  or subha(99)
mala (108)
rosary (54, 150)
or

komboloi (33)

if i make

39 metal pools for a teaspoon of black water
a 110 metal beaded mala
as clumsy and heavy
as beautiful broken and drilled stones

i make thing-ness that expands me
one cm at a time