Friday, July 31, 2020

wishes

heat
memory
day
the cicadas

heat
reverie
night
the crickets

What if
this river
could hold
the sun
make it
cold
enough
for
cusped hands?


What if
this wind
though
slight
could
fill
the moon
with
autumn
light?







Monday, July 27, 2020

the moon's
first quarter
two weeks
left
as
argon
the earth's
third air
bursts out
of stars

Sunday, July 26, 2020

Tuesday, July 21, 2020

white blooms
upon
black tar
are
exactly
like
pomegranates

every time I
point the camera
I think of
all the other
hands
with a finger
pressing down
then
the sound
of shutters
I killed a huge cockroach tonight
with a heavy shoe
my rooms encircled
by traps
didn't catch him,
wandering in,
you
who
probably didn't
deserve to die
did
I
thought
post mortem

Sunday, July 19, 2020

hope
is
two
young women
smelling of soap
squatting
on the side of the road
one cradling
a grey kitten
in her lap

Two
blue-tailed
skinks
laze
on a rock.
Above them,
the sun shadows
a green
leaf.
A grasping
cicada,
still dusted with
soil,
toils there
flexing its skull
to open,
and falls.
The lizards slip from
the cooling rock,
drop,
as the sun
drowning,
warns
the waking
cicada.
The cicada,
alert,
suddenly
frees itself
from itself
on the dirt,
and still damp,
rises.
It will not
wander far
for love,
flying into the red sky,
while beneath it
the blue-tailed skinks
slink
back under stones,
shuddering,
as a black cat,
who'd been watching them,
slumps to
ground,
eating
someone's
else's
bones.
Above,
two
wary
herons
sway
as  a summer's
day,
green
winged,
flees
into the
night.









Friday, July 17, 2020

サギ
sagi

アオサギ
aosagi

白鷺

shirasagi

にがり

nigari

bittern

天使

tenshi

angel


Komori

コウモリ

Mamoru

守る

Protect

川の守護者

guardian of the river

不眠症

fuminshō

insomnia

落ち着きのない

Ochitsuki no nai

restless



tsubasa

wings

Thursday, July 16, 2020

lifted up
placed within a cherry tree
we watched
you grip
a green new leaf
and purr a blur
of hidden wing
as
a black cat lounging
loped off
and two herons
once rooftop keen
rose into the
lowering sky




c i c a d a

매미
maemi


semi

g r e y  h e r o n

アオサギ
aosagi

黒猫
kuro neko

b l a c k  c a t






...........................................................................................................


aosagibi http://yokai.com/aosagibi/

(onibi) http://yokai.com/onibi/


Namazu (鯰) or Ōnamazu (大鯰)



is a giant catfish who causes earthquakes. He lives in the mud under the islands of Japan and is guarded by the god Kashima who restrains the catfish with a stone. https://illustrationchronicles.com/When-Giant-Catfish-Shook-The-Earth-The-Namazu-e-Prints


Sunday, July 5, 2020

sheep in yard
hawk hummingbird moth
 
tsukidome water
horse head
dead sparrow

cloth door
more masks
on the path





Monday, June 22, 2020

Two bats
one
sun
down
A stray cat
crossing the road
took a look back.
Its kitten was
wedged too near
a sheer drop
into a swift stream
A mothers eye
darted from me to
you,
small
scared.
Startled,
you flew
across
the street.



A woman on a bicycle almost hit you.


Sunday, June 14, 2020

Ryokan's flea
I see
the mosquito
who bit me
fly away

Saturday, June 13, 2020

(some things)

(some things)

such as the heart
and the blood running through it
the brain
with its bifurcate channels
pulsing
a course
of rivers within
thinning thinner
or thicker
walls
banks of rivers
and the sights along them
an island
thyroid
with a mound
as a mound found
among gravesites of
the indigenous life (yours)
that this land and river
are entrusted to
you a bridge
between you
seeing
your own waters pounding
flood warnings
blood rising
rising
abating
waiting
for
wanting more
than this
for this



a blueberry leaf
rinsed in rain

new weeds

old sorrows

Kemushi 毛虫 (Caterpillars)

I am not sure what kind of tussock you are.
Tea drinker? Gypsy wanderer?

I thought it polite
to stop, say hello.
I'm interrupting your lunch, though. 

Look

Look
how the wagtail watches
her
his love,
and alights in a flutter to greet her.
Wings, wings
so quick
one slips into another
under dark skies, heavy air,
where a grandfather
remembering romance
points to you.
セキレイ Sekirei, he says,
and smiles,
but
his young grandsons
are uninterested, 
and shouting,
reach into a small, clear bag of bread
to throw pieces at the large carp, 
lazing in the river.

Friday, June 5, 2020

With
this
I've
slipped
from
a few
to
more
or much more

You
Sun Tzu
advise
wisely

"Keep your friends close."
"Keep your enemies closer."


Friday, May 29, 2020

There's nothing here
but you
and a wind that begins to seep
into you
though the bare room,
the spare room
you've left empty
to welcome the wind,
to allow room,
to allow you room.
Emptiness is a room of rooms
that desires
only this-
not to go or come,
nothing undone or to do.
You wanted
to be time-aligned
with an afternoon wind
as it shook shade and shuddered
into the shadowed place this empty room is,
where it now sifts
through a curtain,
or coasts
across an empty floor,
where more than anything,
it can be everything
that moves you.
1
closed cacti blossoms
beside shriveling amaryllis

2
fringed pinks
as fields, reforested

3
drains after rains -
underneath my feet ,
fern-framed springs



Tuesday, May 26, 2020

still the privet flowering
and rain
fruit on trees
these tiny and green 

Saturday, May 23, 2020

ligustrum lucidum


bright privet
(assato) roasted
honeyed
waxed
and green








https://www.iewf.org/weedid/Ligustrum_lucidum.htm
Scientific Name
Ligustrum lucidum

Common Names
broadleaf privet

Origin
China and Japan

Family
Oleaceae

Distinguishing characteristics
Hairless shrub or small tree; branchlets with conspicuous white lenticels (a small spot appearing on young bark, through which gaseous exchange occurs).

Leaves pear to elliptic or narrow-pear in shape, tips tapering to the point, base rounded, margins entire, upper surface dark green, lower surface paler.

The flower head or inflorescence is a dense panicle (many branched) with a flower or flower bud at the end of each branch. The flower heads often appear pointed. The pedicel (flower stalk) is 1-3 mm long. Flower is white. Flowers in Summer. Fruit is a rounded berry, blue-black or black in colour.

Top

Other plants easily confused with this plant
Ligustrum lucidum (broadleaf privet) is easily confused with Ligustrum sinense (small-leaf privet).  The most obvious difference is the size of the leaves. L. lucidum usually has leaves with 4-13 cm long and 3-5 cm wide whereas L. sinense mostly has leaves 2-5 cm long and 1.5-2.5cm wide. Ligustrum sinense usually flowers in Spring and Ligustrum lucidum in Summer.
spent
(exhaustion)
went to
came back
lack
lack
lack



Monday, May 18, 2020

Rain, and more of it.

I get up from the desk,
straighten,
hold my chest high, go out.
The darkening street
sounds of water
and wears it well,
pooling and puddling into shadows and light.
My night walk
consists of this -
finding an egg salad sandwich at least
a kilometer from here.

Here,
where we're drowning in work.
While I walk thinking about my sandwich, I compose a haiku to egg salad and yellow peonies.
I don't know-
are yellow peonies hard to grow?
This sandwich is proving illusive,
and when found, stale. 
I buy vegetable sushi as a backup.
Almost home, I look in the convenience store nearest my apartment, and there it is.
The perfect sandwich, halved, decrusted, soft yellow busting fresh against its wrapper.
But I'm glad for the walk, the time to tune myself into seeing things again -
how the cold still sits in the trees,
and the street cats are not malnourished.
While even now, nearly asleep,
I am still contemplating the fate
of stale egg salad sandwiches
and yellow peonies.



Sunday, May 17, 2020

The elderly, up at dawn
wash down steps and curb.

At three in the afternoon,
inside a small cottage,
an old man drones a sutra.

The temple's closed
but the bells toll.

On this street
rinsed clean each day
children scream in play.

At night it hosts the dog-walkers and insomniacs who,
meeting, pass with a nod.

It's true that under the moon
our masks come on and off irregularly
patterns of forgetfulness, a daze,
rather than defiance.

Self-reliant, the stray cats are always here
clearly intrigued by the lessening of us
plus ever-hopeful, as cats are, that less
will mean more for them.

Tuesday, May 12, 2020

This new bower
this blue bower
inside my mask -
the skyline
of isolation


Monday, May 11, 2020

projection

Take away dengue and malaria
clean the sea and swim it in a green car.

Our gloves are made to drink water.

Think of drinking in the Milky Way
they say
as once a year lovers cross it to meet.

Now how can they,
left locked behind doors, and masked?

I ask myself,
will we recognize each other after this?

Saturday, May 2, 2020

It is good to restrain one's mind, uncontrollable, fast moving, and following its own desires as it is. A disciplined mind leads to happiness.
Dhammapada 3.35


things and thoughts

This took my breathe away: the geranium, pelargonium domesticum

ゼラニウム zeraniumu
in an old woman's garden
she brings me in
to take a picture
hers as or more beautiful than her neignbor's

many kinds of geraniums , with scent 香りのゼラニウム (kaori no zeraniumi)
when asked
patiently tells again and again "zeraniumi, zeraniumi"
and

points to fragrant
wax-leafed ligustrum Japonica
リグストラム
rigusutoramu:

"The fruit is said to be a nutrient tonic. Extracts of the plant show antibacterial, antiulcer and hypotensive activity."

"The roasted seed is a coffee substitute. Young shoots - cooked. A famine food, used when all else fails. The shoots contain a glycoside and are probably toxic."

http://www.naturalmedicinalherbs.net/herbs/l/ligustrum-japonicum=japanese-privet.php


I think of the wild geranium
Gennoshouko (Japanese Geranium)

Parts Used: Aerial portions
Principal Use: Poor digestion, diarrhea, constipation
Actions: Astringent, stomachic, anti-inflammatory, anti-microbial

http://doctorschar.com/japanese-geranium-geranium-thunbergi/
 

A perennial I see in empty plots and among cracks , along fields and roads



 

 



  



also
ガマズミ属の木 gamazumi noku no ki
viburnum
white tightly pushed open over weeks




 
  

Tuesday, April 28, 2020

Here
we're swept
along
empty streets
I see the craziness
of my anger,
also my desperate kindness.
Both attempts at sacrifice!
How do I rile or appease
the spirit of expansion?
Our solitude is
sometimes so small!
There isn't room
for much more than
this.
That damn buzzing fly
you cannot find?
Execute it in your mind.
It's an offering
to an open world that eludes you.
The gift to a stranger
of the last carton of milk?
It's generosity damaged by
regret.
These are the awkward acts
of the isolated.
This is the clumsiness
of the caged heart!
Days falling apart,
the river running colder
into the night sky.

One dirty old cat
lapped puddles, hid under a car.
Is she watching me?



too much death in spring



white tubular flowers
solomon's seal
(polygonatun odoratum)
gloxinia
Corydalis  triternata
Penstemon

Thursday, April 23, 2020

3.8 (late)

remember the clouds, the clouds, the clouds
a shrouding snow
as we
above them
see
cascade
cumuli tumuli, chute
below
light
illumined
falls
fog
cyclonic furrows
burrowing
into underneath
(green, sere, sea)

a horizon
ghost
lost cord of wind
the horizon
bluest burn
turning the wings
no
the wings are
melting into
air
there
surround
there
where
we
see
no longer
imagined
by
real
this
cloud
forest, plain, wild wave
scape
scraping
horizon
(lower, blind)
edge
(rising, shoal)
surrender
water land
wheel
gut
wheel
time
wheel
slowed stopped
circumference
the
horizon
an envelope
opened
in air
there
where we are

Wednesday, April 22, 2020

Mind precedes its objects. They are mind-governed and mind-made. To speak or act with a peaceful mind is to
draw happiness after oneself, like an inseparable shadow.
Dhammapada 1.2.


(ダンマパダ  your name in Pali ධම්මපදය )


fire moss in flower
grows unnoticed in a field -
also pandemic



 
another sleep night interrupted.
perhaps I want to stay more than go.
Even if one does not quote appropriate texts much, if one follows the principles of the Teaching by getting rid of greed, hatred and delusion, deep of insight and a mind free of attachment.. 
Dhammapada 1.20




She wished to be a partner of the whole.

She lived in the simple past, a step behind,
and that gave her pause.

And then

it happened. 

The present moment overwhelmed her,
took her breath away.

She sat down. Her mind sat with her.

Here, her mind said, stay with me a little while longer.

Everything that troubles you will be there tomorrow.

But you and I are here now.
  

Monday, April 20, 2020

When one knows no this shore, other shore, or both - such a one is free from anxiety, liberated...
Dhammapada 26.385


小野小町

花の色は
うつりにけりな
いたづらに


わが身世にふる
 ながめせしまに 



Semimaru

Kore ya kono
Yuku mo kaeru mo
Wakarete wa


Shiru mo shiranu mo
Osaka no seki 


 
Semimaru

Truly, this is where
Travelers who go or come
Over parting ways--

Friends or strangers--all must meet:
The gate of "Meeting Hill."
cold
though
temperature
shows
warmth


today
alone
make
classes





white clover
Shiro-tsumekusa
Trifolium repens

 

April's andromeda 
(アセビ) 馬酔木
or
Buffalobur
"...also called Bakanasu (バカナス), 
which means stupid eggplant"

Creeping Lettuce (ジシバリ)
yellow and dandelion like
(I have yet to see the japanese yellow and white dandelion) 

nemophilia  from my northern californian hills

pink lady’s tresses, Spiranthes sinensis (nejibana)
a small wild orchid

Karasu-noendo
Vicia angustifolia 
native vetch

Nagami-hinageshi
Papaver dubium

also called blindeyes

humble sumire, the violet

Sagigoke
Mazus miquelii

creeping mazus


Matsuba-unran
Linaria canadensis

Blue toadflax



Fire mossCeratodon purpureus - found even in Antarctica 

 



 



Sunday, April 19, 2020

Better than a thousand pointless verses is one stanza which upon hearing one finds peace.
Dhammapada 8.101



In Chiba
800,000 tulips beheaded
for their crimes



iris - abandoned school - higashiosaka


the origins of flowers
darwin's "abominable mystery"

a history of
aquilegia
lotus

the angiosperm's
turn
to rise 
old cicada shell
clinging to a cypress twig -
mornings of silence

Saturday, April 18, 2020

hana no mizuki (america)

ハナミズキ アメリカ

あなたに会った日、大きなカラスが私が提供した栗を拒否しました。
Anata ni atta hi, ōkina karasu ga watashi ga teikyō shita kuri o kyohi shimashita.
 
The day I met you, a big crow refused the chestnuts I provided.
 
 
Watching you, forced bulb
as sorrow dropped from the sky
like a wing-clipped bird.


Forced bulbs bloom
sorrow drops from the sky -
a wing clipped bird.


 

Friday, April 17, 2020

Recognising what is a fault as a fault, and what is not a fault as a not a fault..."
Dhammpada 22.319


I wanted to cry
as I was buying
soba and tofu
from two frightened students

She
petite
smiles as I pass -
an ancient tree
still graceful, lovely

even the crows
know
only the rain
hard against the glass
moves freely


 

Tuesday, April 14, 2020

soiled gladness

multiples of

scilla

dogwood
mutations

evergreens

unmasked



garden plots

defeat demagoguery




Monday, April 13, 2020

"I will bear criticism like an elephant in battle bears an arrow from a bow. Most people are bad behavior."
Dhammapada  22.320


Judgement kept pushing the truth away.


10% spoken isn't good enough.
You've too much dependence on a writing system,
she said.
 
I need to read poems as much as I need to breathe air.
Within written words
is an expansion I cannot find
in my mind when speaking.
  
During the last quarter of the moon, alone in the forest, she realizes the limits of her perceptions.




a priori 
this outside is different
I cannot say 
I know
though 
they told us the virus wants
air -
reason enough


a posteriori
found
on the ground
a blue piece of pot
not the blue
you expected
or want

  

Sunday, April 12, 2020

Saturday, April 11, 2020

common edible weeds

wild weeds sing ancient songs

tsukushi
water-loving horsetails gather in early spring
sort gifts and give them freely
to animal or us

bracken fern
(warabi)
forgives wrongs done to wild places

tara-no-me (angelica)
and kogomi (fiddlehead ferns)
know memories of Great lakes wetland and northern wood
should remain as secret loves

while renkon (lotus root)
dipped in soy
remembers a pond,
a green darner
facing forward,
and my first flower boy

These food dreams!
Wrapped in persimmon leaves
I'll eat them warm
with grace and gratitude.


cicada shell on cypress branch -
a hollow gold bowl
plunder stowed among the hedges
edging an abandoned home


passing a workshop
I recall the fall smell
of grandfather's shop
old wood and fabric laden
its tack and staple staccato insect like
drifting through opened shop walls







Friday, April 10, 2020

" Those wise people, who are much given to mediation and find pleasure in a spiritual way way of life...."
Dhammapada 14.181



 

Thursday, April 9, 2020

" sacrificing a slight happiness to obtain a greater happiness..."
Dhammapada 21.290


Scilla Peruviana  begins to bloom
All fear violence, life is dear to all.  seeing the similarity to oneself, one should not use violence or have it used.
Dhammapada 10.130



My student said

"This moon 
is takoyaki
in the sea sky!"

She misses
Miyakojima -
her father's farm
and mangos.


 
 

Wednesday, April 8, 2020

the pink moon passed

I take minutes to sit in the wind and sun

have begun
to empathize with the guilty and foolish

you will stand alone
for not saying you are wiser than they

weigh your own life
and go on

Tuesday, April 7, 2020



tokiwa mansaku (マンサク)


Mother advised
witch hazel for wounds
and a clear complexion.

flowers

Clematis armandii ‘Snowdrift’ (クレマチス kuremachisu)
Loropetalum chinense rubrum


梅、桜、桃の花  
ume, sakura, momo no hana



kvæde (kFaell)



kvæde smell

loose

in the hus

omija

sweet pink 
full moon 
salt tears 
sea trout
bitter greens
sorrel wings

things such as
gosari-namul
memorised

surprised 
to find it here
nine years later among the
pink plums


 

Sunday, April 5, 2020

Saturday, April 4, 2020

yesterday's walk

Be urgent in good; hold your thoughts off evil. - Dhammapada9.116 




wind
I turned east, west, north, south. 
The wind met me in all directions

日光  sunlight
Light is a substance that settles on the skin, 
begins to worm its way to the heart.


春の花 spring flowers
How much I have to learn from spring.
Bloom takes nothing slight, even radiant at night.


 




Friday, April 3, 2020

an echo

Flowers: Seeing the foam-like nature of the body....
Dhammapada 4.46


the reflection of reflection
in a resounding eye
which when seen rings
repeatedly,
answers deliberately,
constructing
ideas, feelings
as an image of
one
in another, and so on,
duplications 
of the eye,
imperfect iterations
to be prized


no spitting image
instead a 
mirror washed wet,
an unwiped blur,
almost, almost
as close as
this sound, far off,
of a
common tree sparrow,
a large-billed crow

 

Thursday, April 2, 2020

1
One plane in days -
a lonely bird.

2
Grey,
I say,
please
bring sun.
One rhododendron blooms.

3
I walk home,
passing a woman,
facing east,
praying in her garden.

4
On this a street of old homes,
2 cats
lay among cherry blossoms.

5
The delivery man is afraid
to wait for signatures.

6
I have no thermometer, she laments.

7
This virus is a line that lengthens time, and heat, and air.

How will I measure interval,
warmth of sun and supplication,
or a cat's nap among spent flowers?

How do I pen fear, its rise and decline?



Monday, March 30, 2020


There are no lasting functions of the mind...
Dhammapada 18.255

Sunday, March 29, 2020



Flowers: seeing the foam-like nature of the body, and awakening to its mirage-like quality...
Dhammapada 4.46


 

Wednesday, March 25, 2020

Minoh Park



Restless mind  -
listen to
what is waiting for you.
Recognize your own ignorance. become wise
Dhammapada 5.63

Paper sakura -
our condolences.
Far away,
the fire's lit.


 

Tuesday, March 24, 2020

new moon - no inflow


hoshigaki 
spring -
darkness tonight,
a tea-stained towel
 
 

Monday, March 23, 2020

Long-suffering patience is the supreme ascetic practice. Nirvana is supreme, say the Buddhas. One is certainly not an ascetic who hurts others, nor a  person of religion who hurts others.
Dhammapada 14.184 

Two trees
uncut,
once bare,
are budding.

Eaves  -
let lichen be.

This home rooms with plant,
will find abundance.

3 prayers for now


Mother of God, star of the sea, pray for the wanderer, pray for me. 
- Fr. John Lingard(1771–1851)


Parvati's child, one of three, watch over me, remove obstacles. May your trunk swing, bring us all up, and into life .


Jizo at the crossroads, cradling children in your apron of compassion, guide us through, as you delay, waiting for us. 

walking

To the east
what was known
as Eyam
rests.
West,
the dusk
rushes up.
A wrestled logic
splayed, laid between -
this is our
path.


We go to
school,
home,
from
one room
to another,
along a
road of
rough
shod
walls
and
through
gardens
sieving
us,
iron
from
sand.

Saturday, March 21, 2020

Blunt objects,
the dying.

Mask them.

They'll disappear.

We're sick
and sick of knowing.

Halo
the hallowed,
hollowed.

It's not enough.























I've kept you
within a dream
remembering
where
you slept
and died
as others have
and do.

you
died.

I'm
here
witnessing
emptiness
shelved,
enforced,
impossible to reject.

if you could,
would you
meet me
streamside
in the next dream

we'll
whisper across the banks
of love -
one shore
to another.



For K.

Violence - he who does no violence to creatures seeking happiness like himself does find happiness after death.
Dhammapada 10. 132




That soft cheek punched rose red.

Underneath, three furrows bled,
small sickle cuts,
already scabbing over.

Look at you  -
a forced bulb, purpling eye.

This is your face,
after anger dropped from the sky -
a wing-clipped bird.

No world for a spring like this.


Friday, March 20, 2020

Equinox

The ignorant age like oxen. Their flesh increases, but not their understanding.
Dhammapada 11.152



Trees
escape
fences.

My room
pulses
green.


 

Monday, March 16, 2020

When one is overcome by this wretched clinging desire in the world, one's sorrows increase like grass growing up after a lot of rain.
Dhammapada 24.335


Without heat, lost, you are summoned.

Now nothing matters but kindness.

This will warm you.

the bare infinitive

Bare verbs?
These exist.
Some verbs
perceive
or call to us,
make us stay,
study them.

Let us go through life without easily made decisions.

Bare verbs describe necessities that push and pull.

Why do these verbs remain alive,
allow change, admire firmness,
let light in?

A language reminder -

what's begun barely

is zero, and infinite.


Sunday, March 15, 2020

One walk,
two
you get lost,
step
in puddles,
turn to face a sun shower.

The day is grey
or
maybe
blue.
You walk again,
one walk, two.

The wind blew strong
all night long.

Spring will come early
or late,
a spate of weather-read errors -
unpredictable.

Meanwhile,
the street isn't empty or full.
Yet I'll bet there aren't as many children
out,
due to,
due to,
well
you
know,
the whole world does.

One walk,
two.
Prepare yourself
for early or late isolation,
spring rain.

Fierce winds
are coming.

花言葉

Hanakotoba (花言葉) is the Japanese form of the language of flowers. In this practice, plants were given codes and passwords. Physiological effects and actions under the color of the flowers put into words from the impressions of nature and the presence of thorns with the height of tall plants, flowers and garlands of flowers through the various types. These are meant to convey emotion and communicate directly to the recipient or viewer without needing the use of words.


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanakotoba

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plant_symbolism

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birth_flower


One week in Osaka



マグノリア

Magnolia kobus, 
also known as 
mokryeon,
kobus magnolia,
or kobushi magnolia,
native to 

Kyushu, Honshu, Hokkaido,

the peninsula of Korea
a small tree
suitable for small gardens
or

magnolia obovata
a large
splendid
nest of white birds
File: Magnolia obovata 10.JPG

Thursday, February 20, 2020

Roger Stone

The Fool: If on one's way one does not come across one's better or an equal, then one should press on resolutely alone. There is no companionship with a fool."
Dhammapada 5.61



"Infinity is not a number, but how many numbers there are."


Banach-Tarski Paradox


Wednesday, February 19, 2020

My Zone of Cognitive Function (Aging)

1
Cognitive functioning is influenced by our genetic background and age.

I know a little about my genetic background.

For instance, I know that my grandfather's build and looks differed quite dramatically from my father's. My mother also looked quite different than her parents.

Everyone died.

I took 2 DNA tests. I am haplogroup H maternally. I am most likely of European descent, but began with an unknown 50% and have watched origin percentages flutter all around Asia, the Middle East, the Meditteranean, the north of Europe.

I am 62. Is 62 the new 52, or is it now 42, or is it simply, and always, 62?

My mother, as she lay dying, said she was surprised at how mismatched her inner self was to her outer self. It's as if, she said, the inside me forgot to grow old.

2
Our lifestyle determines whether we function in the upper or lower portion of our zone.

I practice prayers, languages, drawing. When I read, I seek mirrors and lakes to reflect words and images.  My memory was a pool that has turned into a sea.

The time-shortened horizon I see, yet it still seems leagues away from me.

3
Plaques and tangles are present, but the cognitively engaged don't show signs of Alzheimer's.

What is my reserve task capacity, my big-brained engagement, my tolerance level of age infiltration?

I am in love with life, from seed to stone.  Have studies shown love thickens cortexes, lessens plaque, untangles?

I will try to stay alive, he said, but cannot guarantee I'll be here the next time you visit me.







A bank is being built across the street. The noise is so constant that when it stops I am surprised. Is it lunchtime? No. It is 2:30 in the afternoon.  I don't know what caused this silence but I am grateful for it. I can hear the keyboard I am typing on, the hum of the house, an occasional bird. All this has been drowned for hours each day for months.

Tuesday, February 18, 2020

Srinivasa Ramanujan

namajiri
you're he
you're me
you're we.

dream equations



In a dream,
I stand
on a deck
at night.
Testaments to
nested equations
leap out of the water,
keep me
looking
forever left,
and right.


In another dream,
the number
139
whistles down a taxi,
reminds
me
as it climbs in
numbers
have souls.



In a third dream
equal signs
= = = = = =
bridge to an ait
where
there are
large numbers on slate
or
maths drawn in sand.





https://mathenchant.wordpress.com/2016/06/16/sri-ramanujan-and-the-secrets-of-lakshmi/

Monday, February 17, 2020

the bed you lie in

Old Age: Those who have not lived the holy life, who have not acquired wealth in their youth, lie like spent arrows, grieving for times past.
Dhammapada 11.156


White people should educate themselves
privileged as they are.
Problem is, they've burned the books
that would have helped them,
or else
so terrorized librarians
that they have hidden them.
First-person narratives?
Why should I take the time,
said she,
to over and again
educate you on me?
See
white people have made the bed
they now lie in.
It is not a princess and the pea
sea of mattresses either.
This bed's old and narrow,
hard on the bone,
with a mattress like stone.







Tuesday, February 11, 2020

"Dig up the root of craving, as one does a weed for its fragrant root. Don't let Mara destroy you again and again, as a stream does its reeds."
Dhammapada  24. 337



Moon in Aquarius, waning gibbous


Last night,
under
the moon,
my
garden
reflected
brittle
winter ice.
Today,
warmed,
spilled,
chilled again
it's a crust,
just a crust,
as the noon sun
draws out its damp again.


Saturday, February 8, 2020


working -

For me, the idea of mahjong solitaire is
as both symbol and strange disassociation.
(I play only online and have never played table mahjong)

I started playing when my husband died to ease grief and panic.
Why do I continue?

Pictures, strokes, and symbols,
matched across space
on the internet "plain",
help me "see" my grief and panic
as linked to a "landscape" of life,
not lacking it.

I suppose another system may have been chosen,

but the life forces in mahjong patterns and sets speaks to me as an artist.

It struck me how deeply images and words reside within our minds,
which in turn has led me to order

Wittgenstein's blue and brown notebooks.
"Never have anything to do with likes and dislikes. The absence of what one likes is painful, as is the presence of what one dislikes."
- Dhammapada 16.210



It's not just you
who worries about
the gypsies
sitting with young children at bus stops
on their way to Saturday markets and
playgrounds -
their children bound to hear
slurs, see their father bumped as
a drunk does a wall -
no personhood at all in that shove.

It's not just me who worries about
the Americans
lacking love of languages
unstung by poetry
lost to beauty
shunning speech
preaching an English
I don't know and don't want

It's not just you
who worries about
transgender folk
ending beaten not by
hate but
broken by cliques
sticking not with but
away from them

Reminder - they are us,
just differently so.
If they go, so do we.
Exclusion is a small room
that only gets smaller
over time.












Wednesday, February 5, 2020

book making

things

A daisy share tooled into,
perhaps, soft deerskin
containing 5 old pages of
paper,
unused.
This book
may have been made
for
girl scouting badges
or
as a chain of
remembrance.

This, a thin digest,
full of mountain air,
48 pages
of daphne
from
a feminine
cooperative in Nepal.

Three books,
all, leather,
paper plants and
tree, we,
girls, women,
are paired with
larger books,
histories.
Do these
comprise
lives, begin
to write us in
as
truth or fiction?

Or take
the making of
three more,
thread-bound, 
blue.
These books
began
as
land,
as notes,
written
down
near a desert sea.
Yet they came to be
colored, again and again,
because the mind said
you must make
blue lakes
of them.


Saturday, January 25, 2020

...reach the place of peace, the satisfaction of stilling the functions of the mind...
- Dhammapada 25.368




Last night,
looked at
float copper
from Keweenaw -
imagined it
adrift in glacial soil.
Does metal
find water,
live with stones,
or wind as metal can,
riverine in miniature, a rill?















Still,
that's only part of the story.

Great Lakes copper's been
panned, sifted,
mined,
refined,
sacked, looted,
bagged, boxed,
weighed.
Assayed
specimens
were
traded before,
during,
and
after even
ancient wars.
Redder than
we've been led
to believe,
this metal,
this stolen
sun
under us,
hidden
once
and still
in a stream
of dirt.